Thursday, December 30, 2010

Why I Don't Strip!

     Cola Jameson was an associate of mine in high school. We had seen each other in the food market a week ago and she invited me to a club she frequented. When she came to pick me up that night, Cola was with a light skinned guy in a black Tahoe. Once I got inside, he introduced himself as Kenny. In my opinion, he favored Chris Brown and talked like Columbus Short. Not fat, but stocky, as if he had worked out in the past, but then stopped. Kenny's persona was that of a pretty boy, with an earring in each ear. Licking his lips and making facial expressions he thought were sexy, Kenny could not be told he was just an average guy! We drove to Angels, a gentleman's nightclub on the outskirts of the city. I had never been to a gentleman's club before. I wondered how Cola and I were going to get in; since it was just for men!

     The music was so loud, my eyes involuntarily squinted. To my surprise, there were other women inside of the club, but they were half naked! Cola, Kenny, and me walked passed the many tables and in to another dimly lit room with lockers and more half naked women. Cola then turned to me and smiled.
   "You want to make some extra money?" Cola knew that my addiction had grown very expensive. She had seen me in and out of cars around the neighborhood and told me I'd be safer dancing. It really didn't matter to me how I got the money. Cola had given me an extra outfit to wear on stage. It was a black leather bustier with a black lace thong and a red silk slip to go over it all. Cola drew on my face with eyeliners, mascara, foundation, even though we were different shades. She was at least two shades darker than I was. It was a good thing the club was dark, that way no one could see that I looked like a minstrel. On top of that, Cola's heels were too big for my feet. She put tissue under my feet because the heels were opened toe.

    It was my time to dance. With my bloodstream filled full of liquor and cocaine, I imagined the room of horny men would be smitten with all of the sexiness I had to offer. The DJ felt slower music would suffice since it was my first time. He played Bubba Sparxxx's "Miss New Booty". The DJ mixed it to where the song started off fast so that the guys knew what the song was, then slowed down for me to grind to it. I gave it all I had. Turning my petite hips this and that way. Shaking my flabby booty. I even got low one time and the guys went wild. Money was thrown on stage and I knew this would be a great night. As I went in for the finish, slowly stroking the pole and lifting my leg for more dollars, my right heel slipped from under me. PLOP!!!! My flabby ass was still shaking hours after it hit the cold hard stage. All I could see were teeth. I stood up trying to leave the stage, but I didn't leave my money. I went to pick it up and slipped again on the polished stage. This time my mouth hit the end of the stage. Blood spilled out of my mouth and nose.

     Sitting in the back of the ambulance as the paramedic cleaned out my mouth and gave me six of my front teeth in a plastic sandwich bag. Cola came over and put her arm around me.
    "It's not that bad." She said as the medic stitched up my busted lips. "At least you can still suck dick!"


Anonymous said...

you are too funny!

Anonymous said...

Did that really happen? If it did it's funny as hell. If not then you have a crazy imagination.

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