Selma Davis, formally a Taylor, was the more accomplished of Grandma Terry's litter. She had multiple degrees and currently worked as a Criminal Prosecutor for the state of Utah. Auntie Selma was married to Wayne Davis, a formal Federal Judge. They never had any children together, but Auntie Selma had a relationship with Wayne's four children. Wayne's ex wife was suffering from brain cancer and Auntie Selma accompanied her to doctor appointments. That's a lot of information for a teenager to know, but I spent most of my summers with my Uncle Tyler. He was a true Taylor. Red boned with shoulder length jet black curly hair. Although, Uncle Tyler was shorter than a puberty stricken preteen, every woman wanted to be with him. Aside from his occasional cocaine habit, Uncle Tyler was really a great guy! I'm not just saying that because he indirectly allowed me to get drunk, while he and his friends would bust deeper holes through their noses.
Uncle Tyler and Auntie Selma weren't that close, but shared a business relationship. Being married to a formal judge, Auntie Selma had connections all over the United States. Whenever Uncle Tyler would get in trouble, he never saw the inside of a jail cell. Usually, he was just warned and released from police custody. In return, Uncle Tyler would snitch to Wayne's formal colleagues about extremely large drug smuggling. There was nothing Uncle Tyler wouldn't tell me when he was high! Auntie Selma was visiting Uncle Tyler for "exchange of information". I had not seen my Auntie in years. The last time she saw me, I was going into of rehab. Alcoholism also runs in my family.
I told Mama that Auntie Selma was coming for a visit. All she did was fart and began snoring again. I waited for Uncle Tyler to call me once the "business" was taken care of, so that I could see my Aunt Selma. Mama had gone to the store for more cigarettes. I knew she did it on purpose since I told her Uncle Tyler would call at five o'clock. It was four-forty. Sitting by the phone waiting for that call, I began to think about how Auntie Selma came from a family of drug abusers and turned her life into an American dream. She had inspire me to return to school and become some one great. It was going on six o'clock and no phone call. I called Uncle Tyler, but he didn't answer. That was strange. A few minutes later, Uncle Tyler called me to tell me he was arrested for possession. I knew he wouldn't be in long, so I stayed up to wait for his release.
Mama came in late that night. I sat in the kitchen reading a brochure for a local college. Mama walked by me with a smile on her face. That was a red flag. Whenever Mama smiled, something was wrong!
"You know your precious Auntie Selma? Well she and Tyler are in jail! Wayne found out her little secret." I gave Mama the meanest side eye look in the world. She set them up! Mama was known to plot the most devious, malicious acts known to man!
"What did you do this time, you hateful bitch?!" That only fueled Mama's laughter.
"Nothing. But you can't interfere with an investigation by withholding information. You know I know that!" Mama howled with laughter.
"I can only imagine the look on Wayne's face when he went to bail her out, and found out Selma's real name is Sam!" Bellowing a hideous scream, Mama slid out of the chair and hit the floor. She was still laughing!