Sunday, January 30, 2011

Little Black Girl Is White

Why  would  anyone  have  an  issue  with  the  color  of  their  skin?  Of  course,  Martin  Luther  King  Jr.  preached  that  a  day  would  come  when  all  races  could  unite  and  be  free  from  segregation.  I  truly  believed  that.  I  cried  at  his  assassination  when  they  showed  the  movie  in  school.  The  entire  room  fell  silent.  I  was  proud  to  be  African  American.  But  once  I  went  to  high  school,  Dr.  King's  message  had  hit  me  full  force.  I  was  in  love  with  Joshua  McCants,  first  African  American  football  draft  pick  in  the  entire  state.  We  were  the  best  couple.  Him  being  an  athlete  and  me  being  an  honor  roll  student,  also  volunteering  to  homeless  shelters  and  asking  the  Government  for  a  grant  for  high  school  pregnant  teens  to  have  a  place  to  go  when  their  parents  kicked  them  out.  They  would  have  to  be  monitored  with  birth  control,  but  they  would  have  a  home.  All  through  college,  Dr.  King's  words  of  peace  and  equality  echoed  in  my  head.


I  recited  the  "I  Have  A  Dream"  speech  every  morning  before  class  and  during  work  at  the  shelter  for  pregnant  teens.  Every  time  some  Caucasian  thought  I  was  being  unfair,  I  was  a  racist.  Even  when  a  darker  complected  African  American  felt  betrayed  by  me,  they  called  me  a  house  nigger.  Dr.  King's  speech  echoed  in  my  ear.  It  wasn't  until  Joshua  went  to  California  to  play  for  the  San  Diego  Chargers.  Once  we  arrived  at  the  hotel  suite,  there  were  barbie  looking  white  women  prancing  around  with  short  "uniforms",  and  I  use  that  word  very  lightly.  As  Joshua  and  I  toured  California,  I  apologized  to  the  white  women  in  my  head.  There  were  so  many  nationalities  of  barbies  willing  to  do  anything  for  a  first  draft  pick.


The  endless  flirting  didn't  bother  me.  Not  even  the  phone  numbers  in  his  pockets.  What  woman  wanted  a  man,  no  one  else  wanted?  It  wasn't  until  Joshua  slept  with  the  plastic  barbie  doll,  had  a  child  from  her  and  married  her,  all  before  I  could  even  figure  why  he  left  me.  He  told  me  over  the  phone  that  my  skin  color  was  strong  for  persevering  through  tough  times.  Cooking  and  cleaning  his  home  and  occasionally  a  shoulder  to  cry  on,  but  it  was  too  dark  for  the  media.  Too  dark  for  his  presence.  His  new  found  fame.  Dr.  King  had  spoken  true  words,  but  I  was  weakened  with  pain  to  listen.  I  ran  to  the  drug  store  and  brought  every  cream,  wipes,  lotion  of  skin  lightening  I  could  find.  Researched  every  plastic  surgeon  in  the  entire  state.  Finally,  I  was  perfect!


Joshua  saw  me  after  one  of  his  games  and  ran  to  greet  me.  His  wife  was  shocked  that  he  was  in  my  bed  that  night.  He  loved  me  again.  Joshua  had  gotten  a  divorce  and  executed  his  parental  rights  with  that  bitch!  We  were  happy.  That  Christmas  Eve,  Joshua  and  I  put  up  the  live  Christmas  tree  and  lights.  The  star  shined  so  bright,  it  lit  the  entire  living  room.  I  noticed  that  when  I  was  close  to  the  lights,  my  face  would  burn.  Once  I  put  on  a  layer  of  sun  block,  the  pain  went  away.  Christmas  morning  I  had  waken  to  blotches  all  over  my  face.  Large  red  welts  covered  my  face  and  neck.  The  pain  was  unbearable.  Joshua  rushed  me  to  the  hospital  where  they  gave  me  multiple  hypoallergenic  drugs.  The  welts  went  away  and  so  did  the  blotches,  but  my  skin  was  darker  than  when  I  started  out.  Now  I  had  to  wrap  my  entire  body  with  cloth  whenever  I  left  the  house.  I  was  diagnosed  with  Melanoma,  the  worst  form  of  skin  cancer.


I'm  sorry  Dr.  King!!!


Joshua  left  me  again  and  all  I  had  was  a  poster  of  Dr.  King.  Reading  his  speech  over  and  over  again.

"I  don't  think  that  day  is  here  yet!"  Crying  myself  so  hard  my  legs  fell  from  underneath  me  and  I  hit  the  floor.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So many people bleach their skin to look like a white person. This story may make them think twice about it. good job Ariona!

Anonymous said...

You are so right! I know a girl that bleached her kids. So sad. RIP to Dr. King. You on point Ariona!

Anonymous said...

You be killin' em!

Anonymous said...

I dig you Ariona. Please keep writing your stories. They inspire me.

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